It Starts Again

Confused

It’s funny the past few months the little voice hasn’t wanted to come out. It hasn’t wanted to write. I tell myself it’s been a long time. I should write something. The normal conversation transpires at this point. What do … Continue reading

The Day of the Ride

August 13th, 2016

Dear Diary,

Let’s be honest, the pretense of my writing a diary is shot at this point. It barely lasted through the first day. Now there is no way it was going to last through this post. But at least I tired. I stayed committed even though I didn’t want to  be.

Well ride day has come and the excitement I haven’t seen when it comes to riding in a long time, has appeared. I guess this is a good thing. Got up early and hopped in the shower and got ready for the ride. I

After that was breakfast. Yay, food. Not as good as the cheese curds.

After breakfast I set my basal rates and got ready to kick off the ride. Man it was early.

Yep, that was me the morning of the ride. I looked so happy and graceful. Honestly, I met both of those expectations this time. The ride starts easily enough, I think it’s because I remembered to stretch, huge different. As the ride begins we broke off into different start groups, so that all 330 of us were not riding off at once.

I felt good, at this point I was convinced that I was going to do more than I had planned on doing originally. I wasn’t rushing myself to do the full loop. After the start things do become a blur, not in a bad way, it’s a bunch of riding, but also riding with people you know or don’t know, chatting or just riding.

I hit the first break point faster than I had anticipated refilled my supplies, stretched, chatted with some people and started to head out again. Once again I was with a different group of people, but we eventually separated and continued on the ride.

Break point 2 fast approached, got more water, took care of some things, had some electrolytes and pickles and pickle juice, disgusting but good. At this point I considered how I was feeling and decided to press on to break point 3. The ride was still good, I really hit my stride in Iowa.

See I’m still happy and still judgemental. At this point I was at 42ish miles and I had to make the choice to continue in the loop or not. After careful consideration of my body, my legs felt fine, I think I could have handled the hills, but other parts of me were starting to act up. So I decided to partner up with another rider and start heading back.

The was a good decision, Peggy and I chatted most of the way, but I lost her a few times as she was moving a lot slower than I was, and would slow down periodically. I never intentionally left her behind, but sometimes my pace on the “hills” left her behind. So as we got closer to the remaining break points, she would yell at me to go ahead and she would catch up. That worked for me.

The ride back was slightly rough, the tail wind we had on the way out was now a headwind on the way back. That added up, but honestly I felt cool because of the wind. The last 10 miles of this ride are the worst, because there are road signs for La Crescent, Minnesota and La Crosse, Wisconsin so you knew how much riding you had left. I swear the bridge over the Mississippi which was so easy on the way out, now was the biggest challenge to face. At this point I was riding with Tracy, who I had breakfast with the day prior and we crossed the finish line together.

That was it, they yell our names, they are clapping, and cheering us on. They give you a medal, which is hanging on my door, and you get to stop riding. That was the best part, well that and the ice cream sandwich.

All in all the ride was good, no major issues, I felt great at the end, well 95% of me did, my tail ed was not happy with me in the least. That was a pain in the ass…. HAHAHA. but seriously, it hurt.

Things that were great is once again with testing dealing with and changing my basal rates along the way, I started and ended where I needed to be.

JDRFRide9

My morning low had me thrown off because I went to bed at 185 and I adjusted. Apparently, my body decided to metabolize my insulin differently this time. It is what it is. I am just glad to have done this ride.

As I said earlier my desire to ride was at a low before the ride, however, things are different. I think truly it is because I made the ride about the ride and not about NEEDING to do the full 100. Once blue makes it back from La Crosse we have a date. And I am happy about that.

So on that note, diary I am done with you, I am never going to write to you again. At least I will need to be on something to decide to write diary style again.

On that note I am done finished writing.

Good Bye diary and world.

Brian

Dblog Week #2: Shhhh….

Today’s suggested topic is quite interesting, okay, fine yesterday’s topic, but still interesting nonetheless.

Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself?  (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone.  There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects.  Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won’t tell them.)

Years ago when I started this blog, I spent alot of time giving thought to what I was going to publicize, what I wasn’t going to publicize and if I would open the D-world to my family and friends. At that time, I choose no, I was not going to share make things easily accessible to those who were around me. Why? To this day, I am not quite sure. It just felt right.

Honestly, I think part of it is, when I was younger, I was the only person in my high school of 800 people with the illness, over time the number would increase to there being 3 of us, that was it. It was not a conversation I wanted to have with people. Everyday, I went to the nurse, tested, had my lunch and continued on with my day. Did people know about it? Yes, but it was never anything that I talked about. It was my “disease” not theirs. Well that and I never really share what is going on in my head.

As time moved on, while I am more open about these things and people who know or who need to know are aware of my type-1 diabetes, I never truly try to make a big deal of it. It is only a small part of me. So when I started blogging, the idea of my blog was to be able to write about anything I wanted to, without my family or friends seeing the sometimes real or frustrating struggles I have had to deal with. Is this wise? Probably not, but it is what it is. To this day, when people ask about the name for my Instagram account or Twitter handle I just say, it’s what I picked at the time, no other answer.

In the world I advocate silently for things diabetes related and that is how I work. Granted this year I am doing a JDRF ride in Wisconsin, hoping for the century mark, so yes my Facebook page is filled with guilt ridden requests to hit my goal, that is really the only time that diabetes things will show up on my personal pages. In this day and age, I have a great support system in my friends both nearby and across the country, when I seriously have issues I know there are people I can talk to about these things. So I choose to not talk to other people about those things, they can only nod their heads and talk about people they know who may have diabetes. Why make them feel sorry for me? It’s not what I do.

I would much rather have my family and friends just think I am bat shit crazy and go on from there.

StitchOld picture, still one of my favorite. Photo cred to Sara, otherwise I will hear about it.

On a side note, yes I mentioned my JDRF Ride, I know you all do your own fundraising for walks and stuff like that, so I am not asking your support. However, if you know people who like to support various d-charities or are just in the mindset of throwing money around, feel free to send them to my page. I swear, this is not directed at you readers per se. Just a stab in the dark. (FYI the JDRF Ride page is having issues, I will share the link when I can get to it.)