Day 18: Words

When I ran into today’s prompt. I was both entertained but also scared of this prompt. Why?

Well here’s the prompt: Write about a time that you lashed out at someone close to you because of frustration/fear/anger resulting from your health condition and you wish you could take it back. Forgive yourself and let it go.

 The words we use in frustration are so easy to say and not so easy to take back. When one has type 1 diabetes this seems like something that is even harder to do. I mean yes, there are times we all get mad when we hear the ignorant comments spouted out about type on diabetes. People have already blogged about that. I am not getting in the middle of that argument or moment of unhappiness.
Instead let’s talk about hypoglycemia and how that sometimes makes us do something unbelievably stupid. Hypoglycemia can be triggered by many different things. Excess insulin, not enough food, exercise, and sometimes just out of the blue. When this happens, well sometimes we experience certain reactions or symptoms or changes. Such as:

  • feel hungry or have “hunger pains” in their stomach
  • feel shaky or like they’re trembling
  • have a rapid heart rate
  • feel sweaty or have cold, clammy skin
  • have pale, gray skin color
  • have a headache
  • feel moody, cranky, or irritable
  • feel drowsy, weak, or dizzy
  • be unsteady or stagger when walking
  • have blurred or double vision
  • feel confused

The one to really take note of on this post is the “feel moody, cranky, or irritable” bullet.

Why? Well when we are low sometimes we can become really nasty to those around us. The normal questions can cause us to be REALLY mad. Like rage mad at something so petty and stupid. The simple questions can drive us crazy. However, you add a question like, “you seem out of it (irritable) how are you feeling? What is your sugar at?” Well with me, you are screwed. The little annoyance makes one rage a lot for something so petty, stupid, crazy! It is not a good feeling, especially when you have had your snickers and are feeling better.
For instance, I was running a retreat this past weekend. Mind you I was tired and distracted. B.A.S.C. was being temperamental, and I was a little low. I knew I was but did not yet have a chance to grab a snickers because of everything going on (that is stupid and not an excuse.) Anyway, something happened and I dealt with the problem, but I was talking with one of the other adults about the situation, the frustration, and was like am I over reacting to this. Her response to me was classic, “No you can and should be annoyed, but I add you are acting like you may need a snickers….” This is what she was referencing, not the other issues. But I got the hint and found a cookie. I LOVE COOKIES.
There is not one incident that I say can trigger any true feelings of anger and rage. It is again, just in general what happens sometimes when low, I do regret that or those at times. Alas, it is what it is. I always try my hardest though to be aware of what I am saying. We never know what we say will hurt or set someone off. I try to be watch my words and hope they are always the right ones. Speaking of words, I really love this music video. Good message too.

Have a great day!