I Concede

Today I have conceded defeat to the Wego Health Daily Blog challenge. This weekend kicked my butt all over the place, I was without internet most of Sunday and I just could not consign myself to following directions anymore. So I throw in the towel. (crumple, crumple, pleh,) That’s the sound towels make. HAHAHA, I know it’s the pleh that gets me too.

I enjoyed the prompts and hints. I liked having direction for my blog, but my other medical issue, BSOS can only be contained for so long. (Bright Shiny Object Syndrome). I did my best to stay on target, yet if you know me I can only do that for so long. So I am back to my aimless blogging/wandering at least until I find some other band wagon to jump on.

Recently, I have been making in roads on two things diabetes related. The first is the low blood sugars that attack me all the time. I have been a little more aware of things that seem to harass me, so I am handling them better. Plus the night time lows. I eat a Reese’s Egg before I go to sleep if I am sub 100. That seems to deal with any IOB issues that I have been facing as I drift off to sleep. Plus when I wake up in the morning, I can now go to the gym (another things I have started again) without needing to guzzle OJ or something else. This is good.  I am happy with this. Maybe my lows will stabilize and I can stop worrying about this junk.

Also other things that have been going through my head…. Well when I don’t have a brain fart. Speaking of “Brain Farts” I stumbled upon this article on Yahoo today, which helped me not feel so spacey when I do have the brain farts. Read them all, but especially number 1 on doors.

“Do you ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind — to get something, perhaps? — only to completely forget what that purpose was?  Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an “event boundary” in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next, just as exiting through a doorway signals the end of a scene in a movie. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room, and prepares a blank slate for the new locale. Mental event boundaries usually help us organize our thoughts and memories as we move through the continuous and dynamic world, but when we’re trying to remember that thing we came in here to do… or get… or maybe find… they can be frustrating indeed.” How weird is that?!?
Lately, I have been looking at my exercise routine and finding out that I do seem to enjoy riding my bike. This leads me to the next jump of trying to get a better bike for my needs. I love the one I am riding now, but it is just not the right fit for me. So I am trying to sell that bike and buy a new one. If I do this, I need to justify the expense of buying a new bike. The best way to do that is to consider a Diabetes related bike event. You know where I am going here. Do I try to do a Tour de Cure or just laugh and hide from that concept completely? There are some coming up in June, but I have so much going on right now, that I worry I won’t have the time to really commit. However, there is one in September, yet I am somewhat terrified of the concept and idea. I mean do I do the 35, the 62.3 or go all out with the 100? I don’t know. I need to really sit down and think about this. I mean 100 miles scares the dung right out of me and well that is alot of training. I wanted to ride my bike to my parents house 1 day, that is like 50 miles, but going it alone on some of those Highways is very freaky. The Tour at least has some bailout room. I just need to man up and make a decision soon. 
This is what I have going on right now. Some good things on the table and other more annoying things. Also, I have been thinking about my blog design/layout/setup. I want to do some overhauls, but I don’t think Blogger is really fit for what I am thinking of. This leads me to look at other blogging sites and what to do from there. Not to mention I have 50 really awesome business cards that I would have completely wasted if I did this. AHHHHHHH so many thoughts. 
This is why I threw in the towel. Not because I am lazy.

Day 26: Health Tagline

It’s funny, my creative juices work whenever I am thinking. Yet when I try to put them to work, work it never happens. I guess it is partially because I thrive on the moment. When the moment is not here, I struggle to come up with something that could be clever, weird, or just me. So even though I am starting writing this post at 11:00 AM, I have no promises how long it will take me to come up with an idea or topic for today’s blog post. I have one, but it seems to simple, so we’ll see what happens with that one. Anyway, here is today’s prompt.

Health tagline. Give yourself, your blog, your condition, or some aspect of your health a tagline. Make sure it’s catchy!
 I was thinking along the lines of “I can eat this…” or “It has nothing to do with my past eating habits…” or even “There is no good/bad kind of diabetes…” Instead the one thing that my mind kept coming back to me was this one. 
While I am not the best artist. I think this was a pretty decent effort on my part. Anyone, yeah this is all I have for today. Peace out and if you don’t like the art, I just did it for chips and pringles. 

Day 25: 3rd Person Post

So I missed out on Day 24, so now I am a day behind. Yesterday was a busy and stressful day that I can’t talk about. Not that it is embargoed or anything. However, due to other reasons and I am not talking about it yet. Yesterday was a good day to “skip” though. How many people really need to get linked to Sprinkles the DOC Unicorn anyway??

Oh wait, Day 24 is now done. BONUS!!!

So Day 25 calls for a 3rd person perspective on a memory that Brian has. My philosophy is that well I can do that. In fact let me give you a look at yesterday.

Write about a memory you have but describe it  using the third person. Use as many sensory images (sights, sounds, textures, etc) as you can. Don’t use “I” or “me” unless you include dialogue. 
(Pan in on Brian sitting at his text, happily reading some diabetes related blogs, when someone else enters his office.)
Brian is asked, “Do you have a moment, I need to talk to you about something?” The immediate response is in the affirmative.
After relaying the news/story or gossip, looking at Brian’s face there is some shock, acknowledgement, and if one is really good about reading his body language the look of, (#$$@#$@#$*@#$*#@* @#$*@#$* #$@$*@#!!!!!!!!) Is all over his face. The previously warm office has gotten a little colder. The melody of the birds singing, has gone from musical to a shrill screeching. 
He looks calm, he seems to be taking the news ok, but that is not what is going on. In his head, Brian very well may be thinking about other less panic inducing things, yet he can’t be. The forgotten blog stares at him from his desktop as Brian starts to ask questions. Answers are given and he starts to look a little more calm. The phone rings, Brian looks at the person in his office and at the phone. Looks at the person again and says, please I am expecting a phone call hold on one second. You hear Brian talking to the receptionist, torn between taking the phone call that needs to be taken or continue the conversation with the person in his office. 
Finally, Brian makes the decision and says, “I need to take this call. Please give me a moment.” Now the second weird conversation of the day happens. This one is even more bizarre than the first conversation. One can see Brian looking around trying to figure out how to answer these questions, almost looking at his office window contemplating an escape…… Yet there is no escape, so he finishes the phone call and moves back to the person in his office. 
As odd as it seems, the phone call has managed to calm Brian down a little bit. He sees that he can handle what he was just told. Granted if one were to look at his face or read his mind you would still see, (%^&%*%$%^$%!^@$^%$#$^!) going through his head. But he seems fine, at least for now. 
Brian can take this news like a champ, because weirder things have happened. No matter the stress he faces in real life, he knows that if he can handle his life as person with type 1 diabetes, he can handle anything thrown at him. Even if he wants to jump out of his office window.  

Day 23: Writers Choice: Why I write

Once again today is another writer’s choice. I like the freebie days, granted I did not necessarily always follow the prompts completely myself. So I choose my prompt to reflect upon one of the early sign up bonus topics. This topic or choice was:

I keep writing because… Start your post with this sentence and, as the title says, keep writing. Free write for 15 minutes without stopping and see where it takes you.

I keep writing because no matter how much information is out there. There are always going to be more questions than answers. I keep writing because in my own small way I am making a difference, even if it is just to bring a smile to someone’s face. I keep writing because I want to.

These statements are only the beginning of why I write. When I started this blog I did not know what direction things would go. Who would read or ignore me. So I just went with my own way of thinking. To this day it seems to have been quite successful. I have posts that people love and those that people miss or I completely miss. 

I do this because I want to. It is not a job, even though the month challenge has become a sort of job. I do it because it gives me a chance to vent my own fears, frustrations, and challenges, knowing others have felt this way before. I do it because the comments of others help me most of the time. While I know that on some level I am helping those who read what I write. 

I do this because maybe one day something that I write does make a huge difference in the world. Maybe it is a post that might be circulated around the world for all people to see and read. To realize the facts and struggles that all of us face day after day. Maybe it could one day be that post that makes people realize that exercise and eating well will not cure us. Maybe the misconceptions can be cleared up in a world where the right information is at the fingertips of those who actively seek it and don’t fall prey to stereotypes. This is why I keep writing.

My blog is just that my blog. Yes sometimes I will sell myself out… wait no I won’t but if the right offer comes along…. :-p 

No my blog is my own and it goes in the direction I tell it. Not the other way around. I do this because it is where I need to be. Plus now that I have all of these business cards, I need to keep writing for a while, just to make it worth the money I spent on them…

No but seriously I write as I said before, because there are people facing some major struggles in their lives and if anything I may right on purpose or accidentally helps them. Well my job is done. This is why I write.  

Day 22: Never Forget

Today’s blog post was interesting. I really wanted to do more, however I got distracted by work and stuff like that. Whoops. But here is today’s blog prompt.

The Things We Forget. Visit http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/ and make your own version of a short memo reminder. Where would you post it?

This is key. I would hang it everywhere truthfully. Most likely by my blood glucose meter though, for the days I am really frustrated. We all need to hang up sticky notes at some point. 

Day 21: Madlibs

Oh this was to much fun. Although it never makes any sense. Nothing like a fun easy Saturday prompt.

I giggled at some of this. I have no shame.

Health Madlib Poem. Go to : http://languageisavirus.com/cgi-bin/madlibs.pl and fill in the parts of speech and the site will generate a poem for you. Feel free to post the Madlib or edit it to make it better.

Happy cat’s Happy cat

very i have never run, much beyond
any mouse, your gas can have their Wise:
in your most smart brother are things which jog me,
or which i cannot pronounce because they are too now

your crazy look acidentally will unhit me
though i have dance myself as horse,
you trounce always ipod by ipod myself as laptop wager
(flushing there, probably) her lucky tie

or if your penguin be to sink me, i and
my vest will walk very easily, well,
as when the pot of this mouse sleep
the coffee highly everywhere triping;

nothing which we are to fly in this car cure
the cupcake of your blessed unicorn: whose peanut butter
help me with the chocolate of its puppy,
existing sandwich and pool with each sweeping

(i do not tangle what it is about you that eat
and buckle; only something in me swim
the ice cream cone of your gas can is short than all laptop)
cow, not even the sister, has such large igloo

– Brian & e.e. cummings

Day 20: "Miracle Cure"

Today’s blog prompt really had me torn. I mean I talk about diabetes and would love a cure. Yet at the same time, to actually “write” the article about the cure coming to fruition would seem obscene. There are better writers and people out there to even begin to address the “cure”. So I was torn to sarcast this bad boy up or just have fun. Regardless today’s blog prompt was:

Miracle Cure. Write a news-style article on a miracle cure. What’s the cure? How do you get the cure? Be sure to include a disclaimer 😉 
Oh and I can’t believe I was asked to include a disclaimer. I guess just to make sure people realize this is not true. I can do that I write amazing disclaimers, I truly do. 
***Breaking News***
This just in…. There are stories out of Kansas City, Missouri, not Kansas since I am told that town is nothing compared with its Missouri counterpart. After years of research, the JDRF is able to announce without a doubt that they have found the cure to type-1 diabetes. There were doubts at first that this cure could come about, yet today they have proof. Jenny the lab rat who was reportedly cured last year can be seen in the hands of J. Cobblesworth, the first person cured by this new type-1 drug. J. was noticeably shocked as she stood there smiling. The first words out of her mouth, “I woke up this morning and tested and my sugar was 101, I had a cupcake for breakfast, I have always wanted to do that. I followed that with a HUGE glass of orange juice. That was it. No injecting, not mental math. Just eat. Twenty minutes later I tested my sugar 104!!!! WTF, I have NEVER has that happen. Heck even when I tried to plan out my boluses I would still spike for a bit. It was awesome.” 

This miraculous cure was financed by the JDRF with a substantial grant from the “You Can Do This Project” and their founder Kimpants. “This cure has taken us a long time to get here, but I am so glad to have been able to help fund this project.” The cure comes about by eating a cupcake laced with the proper hormones that basically jump start ones pancreas to start creating the insulin hormone. The technical details are so much more than this, but this is just the quick explanation. Keep an eye on wikipedia, I am sure they will have an answer to the science side of this eventually.” 
Why eat a cupcake to get the cure?? Why not.

The cure will take some time to bring into fruition for others. The process of baking the perfect cupcake does take time. However, in the end this cure will bring an end to the suffering of the many in the world affected by this harsh illness. For more information please go to …….

DISCLAIMER As it stands right now this is “article” is a work of pure fiction. While many people wish it was true, we are not there yet. Although a cupcake inspired cure would be awesome. I doubt that will happen. In my lifetime there could be a cure, but as of now we are still years away. I am sorry for this. I wish I had a true answer and article about the cure. One day, hopefully sooner rather than later it will happen. Hang in there. Know we are there for you always. Brian and the DOC.

Day 19: 5 Dinner Guests

This is a truly intimidating post. Imagine if the people I put on my list actually came to a dinner with me?? Eeep.

Day 19: Who are 5 people you’d love to have dinner with (living or deceased) and why?
1.) Pope John Paul II – I can’t explain why, but I think partially that he musta had a wicked sense of humor at times and it would be awesome to see. Plus he just has that aura of calm and happiness that I sometimes seek in my life. 

2.) J.R. Tolkien – The man wrote some amazing books that became great movies as well. Not to mention his own unique view of the world could give me so much insight into questions that I have. 

3.) Steve Jobs – If nothing else to get him to buy…. Haha, just kidding. With all of the stories circulating since his passing and stuff like that, it would be interesting to talk to him about his own desires, beliefs, and just how his style of management could be something that worked for me, without the corporate ousting and stuff like that.
4.) Andy Pettite – I know this is a weird one. However, for a man who had such a strong faith and one who did so much, he just seems like he would be an interesting down to earth person to talk to. About life, about goals, and faith. I have always admired him as a person and pitcher. He just seems like he would be a good role model to learn from.
5.) Jesus – Although the living/deceased part could confuse some people. Why? Do I really need to explain why? I hope not. If nothing else, not that I need justification in my work/faith/belief it could truly serve to renew my own desires and hopes for my ministry.

Day 18: My writing style

Soo…. I readily admit that this is not today’s prompt. However, I was just to busy on Sunday to actually write said prompt and enjoy the process. Yet, there was a small part of me who wanted to write this suggestion anyway. So Sunday has become Wednesday, for me.

Day15/18: What’s your writing style? Do words just flow from your mind to your fingertips? Do you like handwriting first? Do you plan your posts? Title first or last? Where do you write best? 

My writing style is stream of conscious. I just type and write. What I think tends to be typed right away. From mind to hands. It usually flows alright, although sometimes I do hit potholes and speed bumps along the way. That’s all good though for me. I will pause and think about what I wrote and amend where needed. Every once in awhile I may make major strategy changes or edits along the way. This usually happens when as I am rambling in my own blog, I hit on something that because the central point of what I wanted to blog about. It works for me. 

STYLE, STYLE though, my blog is me and my thoughts and musings, which means that I write what I think. I am a sarcastic person, I know big shocker, so with that being the case, sarcasm slips into my own writings. I tend to be corny, so yes there are some big ass ears of corn in my writing. I do have a twisted sense of humor, which thankfully does not make it past my “dirty comment” buffer most of the time. 

If I were to hand write my blog, I would still be trying to translate my first post from Brian to English. Most of my posts are only planned in as much as I am going to write about life with diabetes or post weird pictures and the like. After that it is truly the whims of my own mind. The title usually comes first, however I may hit something hard as I am writing, so I change my title to reflect that topic. 

Where do I write best?? Well for me it is in the window from blogspot. Otherwise I would keep posting blank posts…. Oh where is my favorite spot to write on? My butt…. Ok, seriously. I don’t have a “best” spot. Anyplace where it is me and my nuttiness, is where I write the best. 

Updated: It has come to my attention that lazy ass forgot to hit publish yesterday and never posted this blog yesterday. He just saved it and ran out of his office. What an idiot. So once I finish today’s post you get a twofer.

Day 17: The Hard Way

Today’s blog post topic was an interesting one, I really liked the thought process and the prompt of: Learned the Hard Way. What’s a lesson you learned the hard way? Write about it for 15 today.

The thought of a lesson that I have learned the hard way can go in many different directions. Was it the right vs. wrong way to take care of myself? Was it the realization of how I should and shouldn’t make fun of my short friends? Was it the realization that not all people like sarcasm? I can’t really pinpoint where I should go. However, seeing as how I am blogging about diabetes and sharing experiences and possibly wisdom, I guess I should talk about the right vs. wrong way of taking care of ones diabetes.

I am not going to lie and say I was perfect and that I was always in control. Because, well that would be a complete lie. Instead, I can tell you where I was post diagnosis. For me post diagnosis things started out fine for awhile. I was a Freshman in High School and my dad made sure I did everything right. For the longest time I did. I tested, I ate the required amount of exchanges and everything I was supposed to do. Things were good. As time went on and my parents kinda forgot or let things slide, so to did my own care. I did not like to test, why? I have no idea. It wasn’t the pain, it wasn’t the site of blood. Maybe it was the longest MINUTE ever. So I only tested when I was being watched. I always gave myself the same amounts of insulin, although over time I did increase my amounts to cover my own desire to get a low a1c, sub 6.4 usually. Yet I was not really seeing the big picture. I only knew that my a1c was in the “good job range”. I made up numbers in my log.

I did that throughout High School and college was pretty much the same, other than some small pharmacy quirks I did the same thing. I had my good a1c’s. Did I have a few BAD hypo’s yes. That was my own stupidity, because I never really took ownership of my diabetes. I figured 360 good days and 5 bad days is fine. Not like I was ever really in the hospital or anything. Just a freaked out room mate 3 times and one very interesting ambulance ride.

So I made it through college, still not learning a lesson or how to really care for my diabetes. I was just terrified of the negative consequences of high blood sugars. Did you know that lows can be just as bad? Well lets think about some of those. There was the time when I sprained my ankle falling down the stairs when my legs dropped out from under me due to a low. There was the flat tire when I hit a curb due to a low. Working in a bank, there was the time my drawer was short $200 because I made a mistake when I was low. (I thankfully sorted that one out and found the lost money.) For me there were no “real” experiences that taught me I was treating anything wrong. Who needed to test?!? Again 5 bad days in a year so to speak I think was pretty good. My endo. had no clue as my “numbers” in the book were great and the a1c at that point was sub 6.0.

When I really learned my lesson, was maybe about 5 years ago. I had a low while driving. I did some nasty damage to my car. It was out of commission for almost two months for repairs. Thankfully no one was hurt, but it could have been real bad. I don’t remember much of that day. I still have random flashes of events. The things I do remember is “waking up” in my car with a police office outside the window yelling at me. Asking me questions and throwing accusations at me. I was still to befuddled at first to figure out why he was yelling. I realized later he thought I was drunk. After a minute or two of him “talking” to me, I was able to get out the fact I was a diabetic. He called for an ambulance. They showed up and brought me off to the hospital. I waited for my parents to come. I was freaking out mentally.

That was my wake up call. I realized that there was something that needed to be done. I needed to figure out this illness. I began to realize how many lows I was probably having, but due to my hypo unawareness, I never caught them. The damage I had done to my body as far as I know was not much. At least right now I think all is good. But it could have been worse. In my however, many years of neglect, I was open to such damage and danger and I did not know it. I took my illness for granted so to speak. Since I was always “fine” why worry. What an idiot. This story was edited for content, but this is the bare bones. I can always go more in depth at a later time.

However, that wake up call made a huge impact on me. I started to be an active person in dealing with my life with diabetes. I started trying to test more often. Food and nutrition and that junk happened later. I went on an insulin pump and cgm, that made a huge difference. I found friends and the Diabetes Online Community. That made a difference. Am I perfect? By no means. Yet, I am better, I am trying harder and learning from my mistakes. There is room to grow, but I am awake now and always trying. So I learned my lesson on most days. The thing is, that diabetes will not go away. Either overcaring or undercaring for yourself is not a good thing. We need to work on it and give our treatment its due diligence.