Today’s blog prompt really had me torn. I mean I talk about diabetes and would love a cure. Yet at the same time, to actually “write” the article about the cure coming to fruition would seem obscene. There are better writers and people out there to even begin to address the “cure”. So I was torn to sarcast this bad boy up or just have fun. Regardless today’s blog prompt was:
Miracle Cure. Write a news-style article on a miracle cure. What’s the cure? How do you get the cure? Be sure to include a disclaimer 😉
Oh and I can’t believe I was asked to include a disclaimer. I guess just to make sure people realize this is not true. I can do that I write amazing disclaimers, I truly do.
This just in…. There are stories out of Kansas City, Missouri, not Kansas since I am told that town is nothing compared with its Missouri counterpart. After years of research, the JDRF is able to announce without a doubt that they have found the cure to type-1 diabetes. There were doubts at first that this cure could come about, yet today they have proof. Jenny the lab rat who was reportedly cured last year can be seen in the hands of J. Cobblesworth, the first person cured by this new type-1 drug. J. was noticeably shocked as she stood there smiling. The first words out of her mouth, “I woke up this morning and tested and my sugar was 101, I had a cupcake for breakfast, I have always wanted to do that. I followed that with a HUGE glass of orange juice. That was it. No injecting, not mental math. Just eat. Twenty minutes later I tested my sugar 104!!!! WTF, I have NEVER has that happen. Heck even when I tried to plan out my boluses I would still spike for a bit. It was awesome.”
This miraculous cure was financed by the JDRF with a substantial grant from the “You Can Do This Project” and their founder Kimpants. “This cure has taken us a long time to get here, but I am so glad to have been able to help fund this project.” The cure comes about by eating a cupcake laced with the proper hormones that basically jump start ones pancreas to start creating the insulin hormone. The technical details are so much more than this, but this is just the quick explanation. Keep an eye on wikipedia, I am sure they will have an answer to the science side of this eventually.”
Why eat a cupcake to get the cure?? Why not.
The cure will take some time to bring into fruition for others. The process of baking the perfect cupcake does take time. However, in the end this cure will bring an end to the suffering of the many in the world affected by this harsh illness. For more information please go to …….
DISCLAIMER As it stands right now this is “article” is a work of pure fiction. While many people wish it was true, we are not there yet. Although a cupcake inspired cure would be awesome. I doubt that will happen. In my lifetime there could be a cure, but as of now we are still years away. I am sorry for this. I wish I had a true answer and article about the cure. One day, hopefully sooner rather than later it will happen. Hang in there. Know we are there for you always. Brian and the DOC.