How do you feel when low? What are your warning signs?

The other day i was having a conversation with one of my friends who has type-1 about this. The how we feel when low vs. the warning signs to people in which they might be able to make a positive identification of the warning signs that I/she could be low.

The long/short answer is that there is really no identifiable answer. I mean I am aware of somethings that can be cue, yet at the same time, they aren’t always. For instance, if I am low I don’t necessarily answer questions as sharply or as rapidly as I would normally do it. However, sometimes that doesn’t mean I am low. I mean if you are asking me a question that I have to truly think about, I might go off into the same vacant stare/lapse as I put all the pieces together. However, if you ask me what my favorite color is and I stare at you for like 30 seconds before I were to say blue. Chances are I am low. If you ask me what my favorite cheese is and I stare at you for 30 seconds, chances are I might not be low. I could be having the inner battle between cabot extra sharp cheddar, pepper jack cheese, or a nice fresh mozzarella. It all depends.

There is the grumpy aspect to. If someone mentioned this before or blogged about it before. I swear I am not stealing this idea from you. I don’t ever remember seeing it on the people who I read, but yeah I apologize in advance. The easiest way both my friend and I could describe the feeling of low is the snickers commercial that is playing on the telly right now. You know the one I am talking about right?!? No! Watch more television and stop biking, running, reading, playing basketball, and the like. THIS COMMERCIAL!

I can’t help but laugh. I mean the uncontrolled rages and getting mad at the stupidest things. That could be a sign that I am low and need to eat something. Snickers would be okay, however, I might suggest Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or something with peanut butter and chocolate. Yet the thing is the same with the slowness. Sometimes I am tired and just annoyed about something. I am not low. The best way to see if I am low/angry is not to say “Brian you need to eat something you are low.” or “Brian are you okay, what’s yo number?” Chances are if I am low, I will tell you something unpleasant and get really annoyed with you. If I am just pissy, the stupidity of the question and the fact you are just being kind and worried I might slip into a “comma” oops, I mean coma doesn’t matter to me.

There is no simple solution to a grumpy Brian. It takes some tact, it takes some skill. But trying to force me, especially if I might be legitimately low to acknowledge it or do something about it, will not work. Again offer me something I can’t resist on a more subtle level. I normally will not turn down food offered to me, unless I know my numbers are wicked high. I mean is that what my pump is for? I might delay it for like 5 – 10 minutes to make sure the insulin has a head start on what I am going to eat. However, just saying your low, eat something, or being a jerk about it is not going to help me. One thing, though if the only available option is a bowl of home made butter cream frosting and I have already mentioned how weirded out I am by just eating what is truly just butter and sugar. Do not bring it up as I am trying to treat a low. I might get sick. Haven’t yet. But it could happen.

The thing is that for me my lows can sometimes/oft times mimic my lows, the same with my friend and she gets it. However, the others don’t. I hate say it, the non-PWD’s who think they get it, DON’T. I feel bad later if I snap at them, but they just don’t get it. The fustration… frustration about the low in general, the over concern when we are in fact not low, it makes me want to bite something. For instance, the other day I was rearranging furniture in the room I have taken as my own and my parents were there. My mom was asking me to make decisions about stuff and frankly I was putting some serious thought into it. Partly because I did not want to move the furniture again, but also because I really wanted to think about it. So I was cautious and taking my time on the details. Inevitably, “Brian EAT SOMETHING!” (Does not work, ever). “I don’t need to!” Than she starts crying, because she is worried about me! CRYING!!! I get it, you are worried. First of all I was 98 at the time and frankly getting even more annoyed. I show her Beepy and say, “Look I am 98.” “I don’t know what the means” (Facepalm)

I pretty much do this 24/7 365 by myself. In the 4 hours you are seeing me, don’t try to get all parental on me and think I don’t know what I am doing. Chances are I do and I am fine. Rant over. I hate being low, enough said. Now where the heck is my Snickers? I am starting to get moody.

“I won’t give up!”

I stumbled upon a song a few weeks ago. I have used it for a few different things over the past few weeks. Nothing blog related until now. Why? Let me put this simply, especially if you are just finding me. I am inherently lazy. Sometimes, I may write a couple blogs a week, sometime like last week, I did NOTHING! I have inner laziness that I just like to let play and have fun sometimes. I mean sometimes it is all good, other times it wins and I just get distracted by other things. At the end of the day, it is all good though. I mean it keeps people guessing about everything else. Even when I am going to write. Take for instance today, the only reason I have time midday to do write something down is due to the fact that my desktop is currently being replaced in the office so I am in a conference room playing, I mean working on my laptop. BAM, free time to play ketchup and mustard on a post and read other peoples posts.

Man, I really do have BSO (Bright Shiny Object) Syndrome. Where was I??

The song. Yeah the song. Wait what song?? Oh yeah, this one.

First of all, the song just sounds cool and while Jason Mraz is talking more about a relationship, it doesn’t really mention who the other person is. Boyfriend/Girlfriend, maybe family/friends, maybe us and God.

The line though that catches my attention is this part, “‘Cause even the stars they burn. Some even fall to the earth. We’ve got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it. No, I won’t give up.” Okay, I may have bolded the “God knows we’re worth it part.” Doesn’t matter though. In our life we all hit those rough patches. That time when we are angry, sad, worried, scared, overwhelmed, empty. It sucks, it is not fun. That period of aloneness or isolation does not make life fun. It just sucks monkey balls. (Weird phrase right? You shoulda heard some of the creative curses coming from the opposing team during Wednesday nights frisbee game. Those were impressive.)

The thing that really caught my attention when I played this song the first few hundred times, when I played the song for my youth group, I asked the same question. What does this song mean to you? Each time for me, depending upon what I am thinking about the answer was different and for each kid in the Youth Group, the answers were all different as well. The underlying message from them was always the same, “We are not alone” or the “We can’t give up.” Yet there is more at least for me. I mean the other day I was playing this song while I was out riding my bike. The only thing I thought of was man, today is pretty hot and my legs hurt. Yet I must keep riding on. I will not wimp out and call a friend for a rescue. As I am writing about this I was thinking about the fact that the other day I was venting to some friends and they just listened. That was great. It is good to event about things.

I mean we can wander to this blog post by Kim or this one by Sara about issues that people may have vented about and what can happen. Sometimes when it comes to diabetes the questions, the issues, the concerns that we are facing differ. The self consciousness, the angst, the fear, the embarrassment, can get to us. More so, the fear that nobody gets us. Yet almost every single time we voice our frustrations someone else is there to try to help pick us up. Even if they don’t get it completely. They want to help. Why?!?

“Because God knows were worth it.” We cannot give up or let fear/frustration hold us back. Instead we turn to others or reach out to others in their time of need. ‘Cause that’s how we roll. That is what is so unique about the DOC, the fact that we will try our hardest to not turn out backs on someone in need. We see a need and if I can’t meet that need, I mention it so and so who says something to _____ who passes the info to ______, who reaches out to that need. How great is that. Whether you agree with my belief and faith is one thing, but I hope you don’t doubt the last part. We are worth it. You are worth it. If I can help you I will, if I can’t help you I can ask someone else to. And if nothing else works I will send you weird corgi pictures or maybe some of my favorite damnyouautocorrects.