I am a restless sleeper. I barely ever remember my dreams. Yet, last night I had two dreams that I can distinctly remember. The funny thing is that both of them were about diabetes. Well even funnier I guess, is that normally the only time I really “dream” about diabetes is when I am low or worse in that low state of actually being awake and not conscious enough to actually process what is really going on, other than the fact that I have diabetes to blame for whatever is going through my head.
Anyway, back to my restless sleeping. I tend to conk out when I am tired. Just figure out a way to get comfortable on my bed in my nest of six pillows and the Stitch who starts on my bed, but never stays there. Usually at some point during the night, I throw 3/4’s of the pillows off my bed and if I can figure out where everything is in the morning it is a great thing for me. I blame the bed for my restlessness and may soon be saying goodbye to the thing I call a mattress for something better.
Anyway, back to the dreams. I will preface this comment with the fact neither of these dreams were low induced. In fact in looking at the CGM you can see I was more or less steady all night, with some basic climbing. I woke up at 139 on the meter. That in and of itself has been good for me, not being low, low the past couple of nights.
My first dream had me working at a booth possibly at a county fair or something similar to that. I can remember the lady coming by to collect the next cash drop so there wouldn’t be tons of money in the box. You know to prevent thievery and stuff like that. I can remember trying to sort the money into piles of singles and larger bills, 5’s, 10’s, and 20’s and truly struggling to count the money. In my “head” I knew I was low, but it was a stubborn low so I was not going to ask for help. I apparently took a break from trying to count the money, because there was all sorts of weirdness going on with the money. One of the bills had the front saying $8 and the back was a traditional $5 bill. There was money cut in the shape of an arrow. As the dream kept going on the money got weirder and even my pile of singles started to incrementally have larger bills stuck in it. I was getting so mad and frustrated, plus because I knew I was low I figured some of it was my mind playing mean tricks on me. Granted at the end of the day, it was just my mind and dreams completely messing with my head. I was not a fan of that dream.
The second dream was strange as well, not in the mind mucking strange the first dream was, but the fact that it was also diabetes related. This dream is slowly fading from my memory so the details are fuzzy, I remembered more when I first awoke though. Basically the dream is a “younger Brian” maybe like 22 – 25 year old me, why my age changed truly doesn’t make sense to me, but I know I wasn’t my normal age in the dream. (It is so strange how dreams can change our perceptions of certain things.) Anyway, I want to say I was in school with a bunch of kids. I remember there being one kid who was kinda particular about his eating habits, but also being very obvious about certain choices like saying no to desert or cookies and stuff like that. In my dream induced state, I can remember thinking, “Bam, that kid has diabetes.” Yet nothing came of it. A few days later dream time, I can once again remember the fact that we were having lunch and the kid was justifying his food choices and being like “Look at this I took a small biscuit I can have a biscuit ok!” This time though in frustration he was all like you want to know why I am saying this and than he lifts up his shirt a shows off a pink infusion set. (I know weird, pink but I think it was my dream trying to make this more apparently obvious to my thick head.) So at this point I recognized the fact that kids were kinda pulling away from this kid because of what having that infusion set implied.
Thankfully in my dream, dream Brian a few moments later went on to talk to the kid and showed him the infusion set he was sporting on his washboard abs, even my dreams mock my lack of exercise as of late, and I started talking to the kid about diabetes. I was glad I did that, the actual talking thing. This is something that I might not always do if I see diabetes in real life, as infrequent as it is. When I woke up I began trying to psychoanalyze the dreams. Pretty much all I got out of the dreams is the psycho part and not the analyzing part. Truthfully though, I am trying to make the connections in real life to what I have been dreaming about. I am getting there, bits and pieces are making sense as I connect the dots, but still it is very weird in one night to a.) dream, b.) dream about diabetes, and c.) well there is no c, but I needed one anyway.
That’s all I am going to write. I have another post almost ready, I started it twice now and just can’t seem to finish it. I am lost in that post, but it will sort itself out eventually I think. Have a great day. Keep dreaming big!