The Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda’s

I just used this phrase over in a comment on Facebook about regretting or possibly not making a decision based upon external variables. This is probably one of the worst choices/decisions to face. The inevitable should I do this, but what about x, y, z? Followed by the fear, that maybe you made that choice poorly.

In life, time and time again we will face these decisions. Heck, I do face them often enough. Sometimes, I make the right choice, sometimes I have my own regrets. Yet I am learning from each time I encounter the end result of shoulda, woulda, coulda. The funny thing is that as I have matured in my diabetes, I am finally able to make my decisions based upon my other fears. You know bee’s, there not being any cheese to eat, traveling alone, and of course the fear of tiny plane seats… :-p

When I was younger, I can’t even begin to tell  you how big the list of my regrets is, not because of “fears”, but because of my own fear of my diabetes. I mean travel out of state alone rarely happened. Doing a semester abroad?!? Really? Not gonna happen. All of these things that I could have done, I never did, because I was terrified of what could happen, what if I ran out of insulin, what if I went low? Heaven forbid the fear of traveling with a bag full of needles. (That was back in the day, when I actually used my syringes once…. I know, gross in reusing them, but when I traveled why would I want to bring 8,000 needles and try to figure out how to dispose of them.

I was an idiot on some levels for my own fears. I have some regrets now about what I could have done and did not. The difference now is, well others have done it and survived the ordeal, AND I KNOW THIS NOW.

When I started writing this post, I did not mean to make it turn into a You Can Do This post, but somehow it has. I think on so many levels all things wander back into the neighborhood of You Can Do This. The funny things is, is well I can. I could have done a semester abroad, it would have been a bitch and a half to make sure I did everything right and always had supplies and such. Yet I could have done it. I could have done x,y, and z, with my friends away from home if I planned it out right. Those regrets and fears I had, now seem inconsequential, well not the fear of bees. That is totally valid, I hide from those f-ers like it’s my job.

Everything else though, aside from maybe going into outer space ( I think that is an area of expertise that I currently will not be adding to my resume. Imagine losing your last two bottles of insulin out of the airlock and the next supply drop isn’t for 2 months…. That could be messed up). Anything else, really the sky is the limit. The Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda’s, must not/cannot exist when you are tying to do things d-related. If you want to do something, there is a way. It may take time and effort and planning, but you can do whatever you want. Just plan it out right. That is what matters at the end of the day.

Completely unrelated. I need to write my post about my new murse find. I have played with it for two weeks and I think I can give it an honest review. Hopefully tomorrow.


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