Well, come on what were you expecting from me? Did you think I would just start my first post of the new year off with a “Hello” or “Happy New Year” or “Tada”? Granted the Tada reminds me of a story, but not for today. Someone is going to have to remember to ask me about it at some point, it is a good story.
What with it being a snappy new year, lets be honest. I hate the new year, I hate the jokes, I hate the parties, frankly getting guilted into going to the family events, the friend parties, the New Years crap pisses me off. It’s days like that, that make me regret my decision to not become a cloistered monk, silently contemplating things. Granted I have been told, when I do contemplate it is usually about taking over the world or something like that. (Just kidding, I really have no desire or intention of doing that).
I wouldn’t trust me either. It’s all good though, I swear I am a good person. Well, I am a nice person. Well, I am me. But yeah, back to the New Years thing.
I am a boring person. Do I do fun stuff, yes. I run, I play Ultimate Frisbee, I read, I blog. BORING. But I am so unbelievably content in doing these things, I am not going to complain. I am not a big fan of large crowds of people, seems odd with my line of work, but when people are invading my bubble, I sometimes have issues. You throw booze into the mix and I become very uncomfortable. Yet, here I am getting dragged to these things, with family, friends, and food. And of course we all know, just for chips and pringles, I am going to need to sample ALL or MOST of said food.
What to do, what to do? I mean I have Beepy McBeeperson to catch me when I fall or rise. I have my pump fully loaded. I AM GOOD TO GO. So what to do? Set a tamp basal and graze? Or just blind bolus? Well, seeing as how I could always loose my eyesight at some point (I don’ think I will but…) I blind bolus it. But more so I do it conservatively. You know, none of the chicken wing shit, I am conservative. Hahahaha! Damn, sorry about that. Where was I now? Oh yes, conservative blind bolusing, (if you are low or drunk don’t try to say it, you may lose your tongue). Did I succeed?
Your kidding right? I mean it always worked out in the end, but I was coasting all over the place. So, not only am I at a party, I am surrounded by people who have had some lovely libation, and…. AND I am low and pissed, high and pissed, UP and DOWN. WHY DO I DO THIS?
Is it because I am obligated? No, but I can’t really say no. Is it because I am a glutton for punishment? No, not at all.
It is just because I kinda have to do these things. I try my best to be happy and not snappy, but I fail. I try to keep flatlined, planked, or whatever, but that is not going to help. So I do the only thing I can do, deal with it and my moods and think of funny things.
Here’s one for you…..
*REAL DISCLAIMER by clicking on this link, you must have a sense of humor, if it is dirty even better. You realize I almost peed my pants last night reading this. That I had to stop reading it, because as I was laughing my already pained shoulder was even worse. S and J were in tears, well more S than J as I shared it with them as well. You also, must acknowledge that you are older than 13 and you get why some of this humor is so great, especially 4, 6, 8, 15, and 18, 22, and 23 damn near killed me. I was making noises of pain. But yeah, you need to be older to understand this humor.
I almost made another disclaimer, but I will save that for the really boring posts. Peace.
LMAOPRmotionalkittenbasket! :Pand i get it. part of me hates the holidays, for all the food. yikes.also, i join you in being boring. it's what all the cool kids are doing!