This post has nothing to do with this song by Casting Crowns, but I love the message and tone of this song, so I am linking you to it anyway. A few things. Welcome to my new home. I am excited to have things slowly getting setup over here. The good news is that all of your old links to my page will exist over on blogger still. I am not closing that page down. Eventually I will just redirect people here automatically. If you have me in your blog roll, sorry, but you may have to change the address. I know a few of you were just updating them too, but I wasn’t ready to give the new address out. Anyway, the link to my blog notmycellphone.com is good now. (Sadly I waited to long for the address I wanted. I swear someone bought it out of spite or something.) Anyway, welcome.
Last week, I had my 4 month endo check up. Things were pretty good. We spoke about so many things, I forgot to ask her about the one main question I wanted to. The “emergency plan” for when and if my pump fails. I am an idiot some days. We did talk about pumps and she helped me make my decision, although I did come to realize she really doe not know alot about the various d-tech things out there. It was a little disappointing, I mean she hadn’t heard of Tandem she technically kinda knew what the Meter Remote for the Ping did, but I am thinking she had it kinda confused with the Omnipod PDA. Granted, I realize she has their onsite Nurse Practitioner who handles this stuff more.
Anyway, before my appointment, I had a very horribleish thought and it was agreed with by Sara. Earlier in the day, I was getting ready to celebrate mass, the person who was one of my Eucharistic Minister came up to me and told me she would not be recieving communion as she was fasting for blood work. They needed to do a second blood test to verify her a1c. At the last blood check it was X and her doctor was concerned she could be pre-diabetes or at that stage already. When she said the number though, my first thought was, “Mines lower.” I know seriously, what an ass thought. I don’t even know why I thought that. I mean I have spoken before about the a1c and bgs’ truly only being numbers. I don’t care anymore. I mean I like to know where I stand and after my appointment on Friday, I do know where I stand. I stand where I usually do, but more aware of certain things as well. But I am still mad at myself for that thought, so I did confess it to Sara and her response was: “Oh Brian!” I responded “I know I am horrible.” Sara: “A little bit ;)” I don’t know what to say other than my bad. I guess. I will have to try harder to clean my own thoughts sometimes about things out of my head. How can I help others learn if I am still trying to sort that stuff out?
Lastly, going back to the whole number thing gets me in a weird state. The actual topic of that blog post was my turning 30 last year. Well it has been a year and I am now 31. I am fine with the number, but I truly have to say Facebook was ruined my birthday for me. Why?
It seems petty I know, out of those 167 posts I speak to maybe 20 of these people on a barely regular basis if even. Others like you may have only just found out it was my birthday, I don’t fault that. I received 4 phone calls, Mom, Grandmother, Katie, and Katey. Maybe 2 texts. I remember as a kid the phone calls, the cards, everything. Now it’s like oh it’s so and so’s birthday…. Thanks facebook. “Happy Birthday” or for the truly lazy “happy bday”. I’m sorry For most of those posts, there was no sincerity or even an attempt at truly wanting to wish someone a Happy Birthday, it has just become a thing to do online. I am not perfect and I am still working on trying to be better at this, but sending out an occasional card or a phone call or if I have to resort to a facebook wall. I try to go a little more. My brother in law at least wrote YADHTRIB YPPAH. That at least took some thought. It just seems on some level our own momentous occasions seem dwarfed because of our reliance on tech to bail us out of these things. Kimpants asked me how my birthday was, I kinda think she regretted it. She got a kinda grumpy half assed reply about my “fustrations” on birthdays with no explanations. Well Kim here it is.
I love the fact that people wished me a happy birthday, I could care less about that. It is just well me. I don’t know. Maybe I am tired, overwhelmed, overworked, or just mentally dealing with something I haven’t been able to process, actually that’s not true. I am annoyed about something else, but this is not the place to vent that annoyance and what happened at my birthday dinner. That could be why I am so anti-facebook birthday stuff. Sorry. I feel a little better here, but this was not originally where or the way I was thinking the debut post was going to be. Anyway, welcome to my new home. I promise to try to be less grumpy.