Once again today is another writer’s choice. I like the freebie days, granted I did not necessarily always follow the prompts completely myself. So I choose my prompt to reflect upon one of the early sign up bonus topics. This topic or choice was:

I keep writing because… Start your post with this sentence and, as the title says, keep writing. Free write for 15 minutes without stopping and see where it takes you.

I keep writing because no matter how much information is out there. There are always going to be more questions than answers. I keep writing because in my own small way I am making a difference, even if it is just to bring a smile to someone’s face. I keep writing because I want to.

These statements are only the beginning of why I write. When I started this blog I did not know what direction things would go. Who would read or ignore me. So I just went with my own way of thinking. To this day it seems to have been quite successful. I have posts that people love and those that people miss or I completely miss. 

I do this because I want to. It is not a job, even though the month challenge has become a sort of job. I do it because it gives me a chance to vent my own fears, frustrations, and challenges, knowing others have felt this way before. I do it because the comments of others help me most of the time. While I know that on some level I am helping those who read what I write. 

I do this because maybe one day something that I write does make a huge difference in the world. Maybe it is a post that might be circulated around the world for all people to see and read. To realize the facts and struggles that all of us face day after day. Maybe it could one day be that post that makes people realize that exercise and eating well will not cure us. Maybe the misconceptions can be cleared up in a world where the right information is at the fingertips of those who actively seek it and don’t fall prey to stereotypes. This is why I keep writing.

My blog is just that my blog. Yes sometimes I will sell myself out… wait no I won’t but if the right offer comes along…. :-p 

No my blog is my own and it goes in the direction I tell it. Not the other way around. I do this because it is where I need to be. Plus now that I have all of these business cards, I need to keep writing for a while, just to make it worth the money I spent on them…

No but seriously I write as I said before, because there are people facing some major struggles in their lives and if anything I may right on purpose or accidentally helps them. Well my job is done. This is why I write.  

Today’s blog post was interesting. I really wanted to do more, however I got distracted by work and stuff like that. Whoops. But here is today’s blog prompt.

The Things We Forget. Visit http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/ and make your own version of a short memo reminder. Where would you post it?

This is key. I would hang it everywhere truthfully. Most likely by my blood glucose meter though, for the days I am really frustrated. We all need to hang up sticky notes at some point. 

Oh this was to much fun. Although it never makes any sense. Nothing like a fun easy Saturday prompt.

I giggled at some of this. I have no shame.

Happy cat’s Happy cat

very i have never run, much beyond
any mouse, your gas can have their Wise:
in your most smart brother are things which jog me,
or which i cannot pronounce because they are too now

your crazy look acidentally will unhit me
though i have dance myself as horse,
you trounce always ipod by ipod myself as laptop wager
(flushing there, probably) her lucky tie

or if your penguin be to sink me, i and
my vest will walk very easily, well,
as when the pot of this mouse sleep
the coffee highly everywhere triping;

nothing which we are to fly in this car cure
the cupcake of your blessed unicorn: whose peanut butter
help me with the chocolate of its puppy,
existing sandwich and pool with each sweeping

(i do not tangle what it is about you that eat
and buckle; only something in me swim
the ice cream cone of your gas can is short than all laptop)
cow, not even the sister, has such large igloo

– Brian & e.e. cummings

Today’s blog prompt really had me torn. I mean I talk about diabetes and would love a cure. Yet at the same time, to actually “write” the article about the cure coming to fruition would seem obscene. There are better writers and people out there to even begin to address the “cure”. So I was torn to sarcast this bad boy up or just have fun. Regardless today’s blog prompt was:

This is a truly intimidating post. Imagine if the people I put on my list actually came to a dinner with me?? Eeep.

Soo…. I readily admit that this is not today’s prompt. However, I was just to busy on Sunday to actually write said prompt and enjoy the process. Yet, there was a small part of me who wanted to write this suggestion anyway. So Sunday has become Wednesday, for me.

Day15/18: What’s your writing style? Do words just flow from your mind to your fingertips? Do you like handwriting first? Do you plan your posts? Title first or last? Where do you write best? 

My writing style is stream of conscious. I just type and write. What I think tends to be typed right away. From mind to hands. It usually flows alright, although sometimes I do hit potholes and speed bumps along the way. That’s all good though for me. I will pause and think about what I wrote and amend where needed. Every once in awhile I may make major strategy changes or edits along the way. This usually happens when as I am rambling in my own blog, I hit on something that because the central point of what I wanted to blog about. It works for me. 


STYLE, STYLE though, my blog is me and my thoughts and musings, which means that I write what I think. I am a sarcastic person, I know big shocker, so with that being the case, sarcasm slips into my own writings. I tend to be corny, so yes there are some big ass ears of corn in my writing. I do have a twisted sense of humor, which thankfully does not make it past my “dirty comment” buffer most of the time. 


If I were to hand write my blog, I would still be trying to translate my first post from Brian to English. Most of my posts are only planned in as much as I am going to write about life with diabetes or post weird pictures and the like. After that it is truly the whims of my own mind. The title usually comes first, however I may hit something hard as I am writing, so I change my title to reflect that topic. 


Where do I write best?? Well for me it is in the window from blogspot. Otherwise I would keep posting blank posts…. Oh where is my favorite spot to write on? My butt…. Ok, seriously. I don’t have a “best” spot. Anyplace where it is me and my nuttiness, is where I write the best. 


Updated: It has come to my attention that lazy ass forgot to hit publish yesterday and never posted this blog yesterday. He just saved it and ran out of his office. What an idiot. So once I finish today’s post you get a twofer.

Today’s blog post topic was an interesting one, I really liked the thought process and the prompt of: Learned the Hard Way. What’s a lesson you learned the hard way? Write about it for 15 today.

The thought of a lesson that I have learned the hard way can go in many different directions. Was it the right vs. wrong way to take care of myself? Was it the realization of how I should and shouldn’t make fun of my short friends? Was it the realization that not all people like sarcasm? I can’t really pinpoint where I should go. However, seeing as how I am blogging about diabetes and sharing experiences and possibly wisdom, I guess I should talk about the right vs. wrong way of taking care of ones diabetes.

I am not going to lie and say I was perfect and that I was always in control. Because, well that would be a complete lie. Instead, I can tell you where I was post diagnosis. For me post diagnosis things started out fine for awhile. I was a Freshman in High School and my dad made sure I did everything right. For the longest time I did. I tested, I ate the required amount of exchanges and everything I was supposed to do. Things were good. As time went on and my parents kinda forgot or let things slide, so to did my own care. I did not like to test, why? I have no idea. It wasn’t the pain, it wasn’t the site of blood. Maybe it was the longest MINUTE ever. So I only tested when I was being watched. I always gave myself the same amounts of insulin, although over time I did increase my amounts to cover my own desire to get a low a1c, sub 6.4 usually. Yet I was not really seeing the big picture. I only knew that my a1c was in the “good job range”. I made up numbers in my log.

I did that throughout High School and college was pretty much the same, other than some small pharmacy quirks I did the same thing. I had my good a1c’s. Did I have a few BAD hypo’s yes. That was my own stupidity, because I never really took ownership of my diabetes. I figured 360 good days and 5 bad days is fine. Not like I was ever really in the hospital or anything. Just a freaked out room mate 3 times and one very interesting ambulance ride.

So I made it through college, still not learning a lesson or how to really care for my diabetes. I was just terrified of the negative consequences of high blood sugars. Did you know that lows can be just as bad? Well lets think about some of those. There was the time when I sprained my ankle falling down the stairs when my legs dropped out from under me due to a low. There was the flat tire when I hit a curb due to a low. Working in a bank, there was the time my drawer was short $200 because I made a mistake when I was low. (I thankfully sorted that one out and found the lost money.) For me there were no “real” experiences that taught me I was treating anything wrong. Who needed to test?!? Again 5 bad days in a year so to speak I think was pretty good. My endo. had no clue as my “numbers” in the book were great and the a1c at that point was sub 6.0.

When I really learned my lesson, was maybe about 5 years ago. I had a low while driving. I did some nasty damage to my car. It was out of commission for almost two months for repairs. Thankfully no one was hurt, but it could have been real bad. I don’t remember much of that day. I still have random flashes of events. The things I do remember is “waking up” in my car with a police office outside the window yelling at me. Asking me questions and throwing accusations at me. I was still to befuddled at first to figure out why he was yelling. I realized later he thought I was drunk. After a minute or two of him “talking” to me, I was able to get out the fact I was a diabetic. He called for an ambulance. They showed up and brought me off to the hospital. I waited for my parents to come. I was freaking out mentally.

That was my wake up call. I realized that there was something that needed to be done. I needed to figure out this illness. I began to realize how many lows I was probably having, but due to my hypo unawareness, I never caught them. The damage I had done to my body as far as I know was not much. At least right now I think all is good. But it could have been worse. In my however, many years of neglect, I was open to such damage and danger and I did not know it. I took my illness for granted so to speak. Since I was always “fine” why worry. What an idiot. This story was edited for content, but this is the bare bones. I can always go more in depth at a later time.

However, that wake up call made a huge impact on me. I started to be an active person in dealing with my life with diabetes. I started trying to test more often. Food and nutrition and that junk happened later. I went on an insulin pump and cgm, that made a huge difference. I found friends and the Diabetes Online Community. That made a difference. Am I perfect? By no means. Yet, I am better, I am trying harder and learning from my mistakes. There is room to grow, but I am awake now and always trying. So I learned my lesson on most days. The thing is, that diabetes will not go away. Either overcaring or undercaring for yourself is not a good thing. We need to work on it and give our treatment its due diligence.

So I am halfway through this Health Advocates Writers Monthly Challenge blogging thing. I took yesterday off, which I kinda regret, because I think I would have had fun with the topic or choice that was presented to me, in blogging about my own writing style. I may wander back to that if some of the blog topics don’t fit my model.

Technically today, I could do that, because well I just did not feel the urge to create a pin board or whatever the prompt was today. Instead, I am going to take one of my “early bird” registration prompts and use that in its stead.

Today’s prompt is now…. Happy Place. When you need an escape from your condition where do you imagine yourself? Close your eyes and go to your happy place – then describe the sights, sounds, scents, and feelings.

I love the idea of a happy place. A place where I can just sit back relax and enjoy stuff. This happy place of my imagination has been in existence for soooo long. It came into fruition when I started reading the books of Mercedes Lackey, a pretty awesome fantasy writer, back when I used to have to ride my bike to a local book store. You know, when Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Borders (gone), Waldenbooks (gone), were not household names.  Anyway, in one of her series of books in her Valdemar series. She talks about the Hawkbrother Vale. 

Basically it is an outdoor environment that is always warm in climate with huge trees big enough to build houses in and hot springs. My small explanation does not do this justice. I say this now. These purported vales are magical in nature and just plain awesomeness. So from these images, my imagination took over and I created my own happy place, so to speak. 

My place was off in the middle of the forest, where there were beautiful hot and cold springs with waterfalls and just the ideal nature setting. Green wildlife wild animals peacefully walking around and well me chilling in the hot springs resting, relaxing, and eating strawberries. Who doesn’t eat strawberries in a hot spring, I mean come on. 

So this is pretty much my happy place. My ability or inability to truly classify it and the images I see in my mind are truly just because to  me, they are ever growing, expanding, and a true figment of my imagination. Yet the thing is, in all of my imagining and thoughts my diabetes is not there. My friends may pop in or not. Yet, when I need to relax this is what I may think about. Why? Because it is so nice. I liken the image to a place that I could hike to when I was younger, granted I could still hike there now, it is just over an hours drive away. A place barely touched by human hands, with running water. Still amazing. I truly love the nature ideas and concepts. They have always been fun in my mind and well places that I will not forget. 

When I was younger as well, I used to work at a summer camp. Some mornings, I would get up early and sit on the porch to the dining hall looking at the lake. That was amazing. Again, it was another way to bring about peace of mind and to bring me to a happy place. Truly, nature can be that for me now still. I just never have the time to do that. But I guess I need to work on it, to find my happy place.  

Describe your ideal day. How would you spend your time? Who would you spend it with? Have you had this day? If not – how could you make it happen?

What is my dream day? While I am not normally the one to fall prey to the typical stereotypes and answers that people would expect. Today, I think I am. Could I have made an amazingly awesome day with friends and family on an enchanted island relaxing in the sun, without fear of sunburn and the water being awesomely warm. (I SO WANT THAT). I am not going to do that.

Today, I am going to go with the flow and be the stereotype. 

My dream day, would have to either be the day I wake up and know that a cure has been found for type 1 diabetes and that my life can go back to being “normal” without some of the fears that I have had in my life. It would not be the imagined “cure” in 5 years, that have been the longest 5 years in my life. But a day where the fictitious cure has happened. That would be an awesome day.

However, seeing as how that day is years and years away. I am going to just ask for a one day cure. That would be truly amazing for me. Waking up when I want, if I want to drinking a huge glass of OJ without needing to think about the carbs and everything associated with what I need to do. That would be great. Taking a shower with NOTHING attached to me and not worrying about accidentally scrubbing it off (I take long hot showers adhesive has been known to come lose). That would be an awesome day.

It would be great to be able to go for a run and not have to pregorge myself on OJ so that halfway through the run my sugars do not take me low and make me leery about my making it back to my abode. To be able to go and play basketball (which I suck at horribly) or Ultimate Frisbee and not have to worry about people getting tangled in my exposed tubing or smacking myself black and blue when I run with my various bits and pieces attached to me (pump and dexcom). That would be a dream day.

My dream day would involve fun and relaxation. It might involve some time at the beach or at a pool without people staring at the Dexcom sensor on my side or the infusion set coming out of me somewhere. Going swimming and just well swimming. That would be a dream day.

Who would be with me? Well that is obvious my friends. I don’t need any famous people. My friends are famous enough for me and well awesome enough that I could care less about any superstars. To be able sit down and gorge on Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups with Sara. To eat amazing cupcakes with Jess and Kim all day long telling corny jokes. To make fun of my “sister” C as she turns all sorts of red as we trade jokes and talk about her recent misadventures with the tp shredding hell hound. And of course, because I love her so much (only slight sarcasm) sit there trying to see how long it takes for Kerri to flip me off or try not to say anything completely offensive to me as I taunt her.

This would be a truly amazing day. The funny thing is on some level this day has happened and will keep happening. I have hung out with all of these people. We have swam together gorged together, made fun of each other, flipped me off together. I know it will happen again in just a few months. It can happen and is amazing. We are able to put diabetes “on hold” for awhile yet it is still there. We hear it in the random beeps and buzzes of people. We see it in the finger pricks and tests as people do what they need to do. We know it by the claim of “I need regular coke or OJ NOW.” We know it in the “100 sweet” or the “37…. Brian really, eat something, just not frosting or I will try to make you throw it up.”

These days have happened, even with the loomingness of diabetes hanging out with me. It would just be awesome to one day have that day without the Big Gorilla in the room taunting me. That would be an even dreamier day.
 

So apparently I need to come up with a top 10 list of things I couldn’t live with out. I am going to modify this because my mind goes into two categories, food or tech. Both of them I could easily fill up 10 spots and frankly I am not about to choose between my number 1’s.

So food:

10.) Bacon (I may be a vegetarian, but the smell makes me happy)
9.) Celery (Yummy empty food)
8.) Cupcakes (They are awesome, ’nuff said)
7.) Orange Juice (Helps me in a rush, when embarrassing lows make me blush)
6.) Tomato Soup (Is so great, I could slurp it from a plate)
5.) Cheese (So many types, so many flavors, I would cut you all with my real light saber)
4.) Peanut Butter (I could eat you with a spoon, underneath a bright full moon)
3.) Chocolate (If only they made sugar free that did not make me have to do the opposite of pee)
2.) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (See the other day)
1.) Pizza (Do I really need to explain this? See also cheese)

I must apologize for the weird rhyme, it truly must be a crime… Crap there I go again.

So tech:

10.) Google Hangouts (While these could be higher on the list, I am sticking it here you all get the gist).
9.) TV (While I don’t use it often, when I need it, it knows what to do)
8.) iPod (Keeps me going when I run or else things would not be fun)
7) Alarm Clock (While not essential, I would not be able to wake up some most mornings without it)
6) Kindle (Gotta read)
5.) USB Contour Meter (Without you my life would suck)
4.) Dexcom (Gives me a clue as to what I should do)
3.) Insulin Pump (Keeps me alive)
2.) Laptop (Keeps me out of trouble…. HAHAHA, no seriously)
1.) Cell phone (Need to keep in touch with you all)

There are so many other things that could go on this list, but I was made to choose, so yeah. This is what I got.