While I tend to blog randomly, mainly d-related. I know others out in the world post other things. I mean some people blog about cupcakes and food. Others mention things like new puppies and things like that. me, I normally don’t have much going for me in the realm of awesomeness. But today I did have someone new I would like to introduce to the world. This is my little kid/puppy/baby. Whatever you want to call him/her.

That’s right, yesterday I went car shopping and came home with (insert name here). I didn’t mean to. I mean I have a car that is only a year old. So why get a new one?? I asked myself that same question. To be honest with you, I like Penny Quinn or Penguin for short. She was a good car, but well I wasn’t all that happy with some of the things, not a manual transmission (fail), unable to change GPS while driving (fail, even though I was told I would be able), horrible gas mileage (fail), Bluetooth conversation(fail!!!!). So I decided to start looking for someone new to replace Penny.
I have been researching, looking, thinking for a few weeks. I found a car I kinda liked but the dealer tried to screw me. I am chaste, nobody screws me… (Sorry bad joke). So I walked. I kept looking. Nissan Juke, VW Jetta, Ford Focus. Nada, nothing, almost impossible to find a manual transmission. Plus the Focus, while nice and all, horrible back seat for a 4 door car. I mean HORRIBLE.
So after killing time yesterday, I went with my next guess on a Civic. Didn’t care about other features, but it needed to be manual and have bluetooth, since my phone can double as a kick ass GPS. So yeah, I wandered into Honda and told them what I wanted. Three minutes later the sales man came back with (insert name here) to take for a test drive. I am not gonna lie, I fell in love. Granted it was a coupe and all, but still fell in love. What a great little machine. I pay less for the lease, I get an extra 10 + MPG, killer sound system, working bluetooth, moonroof, seamless iPod usb integration… It is an awesome car. I was so excited. No regret, no remorse. They took my car and the payments over, offered me a little extra to cover other things and yeah. So I got a new car.
Now comes the naming part, since my brother and I first bought a car, they have all had names. My ’87 VW Jetta (Murmur), my ’95 Saturn Sam, my ’04 Matrix Murph, my ’10 Mazda3 Penny, now I need a new name. I am contemplating buster, but I am not sure yet. Has anyone else named a car or might offer some interesting names for a car. ’cause I can’t keep a car long without a nice name…

Well, okay maybe I am over reacting. But I am faulting myself for so many things as of late. One being after such a good start and track record, I had chosen to kinda sorta over work myself last week and not even think about my blog or the DOC community, other than to harass one friend about Florida, order some cherry Blunt Lancet merch. for Florida, and try to wish someone a happy birthday. I read no blogs, I did absolutely nothing.
Why?? I don’t know. I mean I did have some free time, but I guess I just chose to slack. Which is never good for me, once I do start to slack things pile up. Take for instance the fact that I can’t even remember how long it has been since I have taken my test kit near a trash can to empty out my ever growing pile of test strips. I brought it out today to make a special appearance, just to show you how off I have been. Usually I go every few days. I know I am bordering on at least two weeks now.

In case you are curious, there are 93 used test strips there. The 93rd is on the top of the pile, freshly used for a BS of 135, post lunch. I am down with that. Granted my CGM is currently at 99. (New CGM though). That number though amazes me. And I can tell you along the way in my travels I have lost some strips. So basically at any given time counting used and unused I had about 130 or so test strips in my kit. Key word being had. I just tossed them all.
If you look at the test kit, I know I have said this before somewhere either here on this blog or elsewhere. I do use the Contour USB for my blood sugar tests. I did not like the bag it came in though. It was a little bulky and I could not store my emergency insulin in it because the outside pouch velcroed horizontally and not vertically meaning I had a much better chance of everything falling all over the place…. Oh wait, that has happened. So I took the case from the One Touch Mini and moved in, but I also had to keep an old One Touch strip container, since the other one did not fit in all that well. (I really need to find a better way of organizing myself and my meter).
So yeah I slacked on that and a blogging. Also, exercise. I can’t even really figure out the last time I went for a run. I mean, i have been playing basketball once a week with my Youth Group and have joined a summer Ultimate Frisbee league. But I also know that I am not exercising to keep off what I eat…. So I need to work on that as well. Life gets busy, things get in the way sometimes, but I am still disappointed. I have been waging this battle with my body for years and in the course of 6 months, between ankle injuries, bad weather, and pure laziness all of my hard work is shot to hell. I have 2 months to my doctor visit. And I want to at least be near the weight I had last visit… AAAAAHHHH.
These may not be super epic faults, but today I feel they are. My sugars have been decent, but they would be better has I maintained my exercise, I have fallen into the trap of grazing more so than I used to. All things I can fix, but when I don’t, when I fail. I am truly sad. I need to work on this. If you have any advice please pass it on. I know I can do this, but it just kills me how badly I slipped. But as I tell people all the time. Just because today sucked, doesn’t mean I have to repeat the same mistakes again tomorrow.
Peace, Love, and Unicorns to you all!!!

So things with work, stress, and vacation have made me in my mind a failure in the ways of food. Don’t get me wrong, I do stupid things with food all the time, but as of late my love relationship of food has taken over. Usually the little guy in the back of my head who says something smart from time to time, will stop me from my desire to eat any and everything in sight, but I think I may have accidentally gagged him or something….

(Sorry, I can’t do clothes and I love the color blue. I do like him though.)
Anyway, so yeah, the little guys has been quite silent lately. I mean I am all about seefood. You know I see food and eat it. Yes, I Swag it and balance it out and everything, but I seem to be doing this more and more often. I am not a big fan of this Brian.
I haven’t gone for a run in weeks, I haven’t really done much in the way of exercise in weeks. Yes, I did join a summer ultimate league, which will give me something, but I need to get things back in order. I need to stop eating as much especially in the Peanut Butter and Chocolate family and get back on track. I am never going to be “thin” I am fine with that. I want to just be normal. I see pictures and my face is kinda chubby again. My grandma told me I look good, my face is “filling out”, but I don’t want that. I want to be my normal 6’0″ kinda thin person. But I need to set that little guy free and am kinda pissed off that I have let things go for so long.
But I have yet to figure out what to do to motivate myself. I mean, I can not buy the food but like that stops me, if I truly want it. I go for it. I just need to get back on track…. Sigh. My next doctors appointment is in July, I want to be back on track by that point. Any clues would be nice. But otherwise, I will just sit here and hope for the best.

So, I have recovered from my vacation and have managed to ruin all the good sleep I got last week. However, I knew that was coming at some point. While I was escaping I did do some thinking about work and stuff and realized there is nothing wrong with taking a little more “time” for myself during the days since my schedule moves very, very quickly. So I have gained new insight into the world while I was away.
Myself, Blue, and Beepy McBeeperson, escaped to San Francisco for a week and it was a really good time. I went to the movies on rainy days. I hate rain, it followed me back here, jerk. On the second rainy day, I went to the Academy of Science or something like that. It was cool, they had an indoor rainforest type thing. I was attacked by butterflies since I am so sweet…. Get it??? Haha, sorry where was I? They had a planetarium, I was kinda disappointed though, when you say planetarium, I think of things like seeing stars and galaxies and stuff, they showed a movie on life and stuff, barely any stars and galaxies (fail), but it was part of the admission. They had an aquarium too. And, ANd, AND, PENGUINS!!!!! I know people of the DOC are all about Unicorns and stuff, but well PENGUINS!!!

I could flood this entire Blog with my penguin photos, but well that is just mean for those who share my love and did not see the penguins. I musta watched them for an hour or so. SWEET.
Wednesday, I continued my sleep and tourist routine and wandered to Fisherman’s Wharf, which was pretty cool. I went to Ghiradelli Square. Ate some chocolate, sorry…. I took a picture and sent it to C, I would have sent it to Kimface too, but I don’t have her number.

My other friend Jeanette who is also a person with diabetes got this picture as well. I told them it made them think of them and also my pump saw me looking and screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” We survived though with minimum damage to my reserves of insulin on board. Wooo.
Thursday, I traveled again. Went to Alcatraz and burned the $h1+ our of my face. Oh well. My own personal prison or something like that. I was not a huge fan of the Island. I mean don’t get me wrong it was nice, but not my thing.

But hey all is fun on vacation.
I came home on Friday which was good, my trip was fun and worth it, but my wallet can only take so much damage. My return trip started off the same in the airport, with my customary pat down. It was all good, I mean I wish the Dexcom did not set things off and all but oh well. I just endure. I mean while I am not a fan of the pat down, both to and from San Francisco, the people were very nice and polite. Almost apologetic, that the pump or Dexcom set things off. I mean it happens, whatever. I am just glad to be home and back to my normal desire of not wanting to work!!

Oh and when I came back I did have one more treat in store for myself. Large Coconut Iced Coffee with Skim Milk. I so missed my Dunkin. Did you know there are no Dunkin Donuts out West in some areas?? That is a sin in my eyes. The other coffees just don’t do it for me.
So that was my trip in a nutshell. Sorry there be no pictures of me and the fun I had, but well I was my own traveling companion and both Blue and Beepy refused to take pictures of me. Double Jerks!!!

So we are day 4 into my vacation and I have been loving it so far. It has been relatively relaxing. I mean Sunday was kinda slow and wet. Monday, not so much fun either with the rain and stuff out here, but I made the best of it. Went to the movies.
Yesterday I played tourist and went to the Academy of Sciences which was pretty awesome. Today, I did some Fisherman’s Wharf touristy stuff. My sugars have been relatively on cue, granted some random spikes, but that stems more from spurge eating and stuff. My CGM had been pretty reliable, but apparently decided to runaway on me this morning. Not sure if I slept on the sensor wrong or what, but it ran away four days into its life. That was a bit of a bummer, but oh well. I will just ignore it for now. I am going back to my sleeping though. It has been the best part of my vacation. Man do i need a life or something like that. I will post pictures and junk later. Promise. Thanks for tuning in.

So this morning after getting little to no sleep, I woke up and traveled from good ole’ NJ out to San Francisco. For most people travel can be a bit of a hassle. I mean, getting up, packing, getting to the airport on time, and the shiz like that. It’s all good and fun. Yet sometimes we have that awkward stage of security and the new screenings and stuff. I mean who really wants to have to go through the extra screening if you get picked and stuff. It is not fun or can be embarrassing at times.
Yet at the end of the day, it is only a chance and most likely we can avoid this stuff. Enter the word of being a person with type-1 diabetes and decided to travel anywhere. Yesterday, Saturday I posted pictures of my bed that had all of my supplies spread out for travel. I had two piles for a 5 day trip. I had to go in my suitcase 3 site changes just in case. I really only needed two, but didn’t want to chance it so I have three in my suitcase. There was also for my carry on my emergency replacement site kit just in case, you know the suitcase was lost. (thankfully not). So I had to pack all that extra and worry about losing stuff just in case. Oh and of course the replacement Dexcom sensor for if this one dies. All of this before I left the house. Sigh. And we all know where this story leads don’t we?
Well since I was talking about security check points… Yeah we have my visit through security. Since getting both and insulin pump and CGM, I have become used to the inevitable fact that no matter what I do, I will always set off the security alarm. I did not have to worry about a full body scanner though. So I wander up to security. I take everything but my clothes and pump off and wander up to the security. I even remember to take the metal clip off of blue. WOOO! And what happens next. You got it, BEEEEP. “Sir step back please.” Beeep. “Do you have anything metal on you, belt, change in pocket?” No that is just my insulin pump. “Oh, no problem. Male assist.” 5 minutes later I am on my way. But it all worked out in the end. It was one of my nicest pat downs yet. I know sounds weird to be saying.
I was happy though. I made it through security in plenty of time, got to sit on a plane for like ever, and played the BS roller coaster game. But at the end of the day. I am in California and can relax and sleep. My room is tiny. Like big enough for a double bed, a closet that can barely hold my suitcase and my bathroom. Oh well. It’s all good though. I am going to have fun and not have to worry about any work stuff. :-p
Have a great day.

Okay, well first off, I am going to readily admit to cheating here and taking a soft easy answer. I hope you will forgive me though. I am running on 4 hours of sleep, due to working all weekend, not sleeping, driving home late last night from the retreat I was helping chaperone, and well getting up at the crack ass for my vacation. So yeah, I am not running on all my cylinders and frankly am bloody tired.
The biggest thing I have learned this week and in general about being a person with type-1 is that we are never alone. We have our family and friends for us. But more so. We have this small group of like 5 people in the DOC there to support us. Okay, maybe more than 5 like 20 :-p. But it is awesome. Actually this reminded me of a joke. What type of animal is big, grey, wrinkly and can climb trees??? An elephant…. I lied about the trees.!! Sorry, but yeah, just like I lied about the trees, I lied about the DOC, where there are so many people there to here us out, listen to our complaints, support us, and help us. That is what I have learned and am so glad to know it is here and around.

But with that I need to say thank you to you all for helping me in my own troubles and for all you do for your advocacy and stuff. It is really quite humbling. 😛

As our week of blogging comes to a close, I realized that things my vaguely be getting less and less interesting. I am getting prepared to escape and go on vacation my first real “day off” since September. With my job, even though I do get a “day off” a week. It never really seems to happen for me. My own damn fault. So yeah. We only have two pictures right now. I may add a third later in the day if I remember. Along with vacation tomorrow, which I will talk about my travel experience and airport if I can. But also leading a Youth Retreat this weekend, so I am all over the place.

The two pictures we have right now are of my packing supplies for a week.

(what we see here is even though I will have a new infusion set in for tomorrow and am gone till Friday, I have a 12 day supply of stuff. Basically in the ziploc bag we have the supplies that come in my carry on, and on the bed everything else I pack in my suitcase)
I know I shouldn’t separate everything, but well I like to travel with a small carry on and not have it be over filled. So either way I am covered for a few days.

In the next image we see my reliable meter and the supply of strips I have used in the course of a two day period of time or roughly, I just emptied the case since I just filled the strip container.

(You can also see one of my many med-alerts. Now some explanation of the picture, the lancets while colorful are just for decoration. I have yet to hit that supply. The meter is the USB Contour, which I love. I am sure you may be going but wait Brian that is a One Touch Strip case. Yeah it is. The meter case for the Contour I did not like, the outside pocket sealed horizontally, so I could not really store my back up insulin and syringes in there, but the case for the One Touch Mini or whatever I did still have worked for what I needed. So I switched out the cases, but the strip container did not fit/work with the case, so I put the strips in the One Touch case when it is empty and take the used strips scattered everywhere and stuff them in to the now empty case and toss)

So yeah, these are my pictures for now. Oh wait I did find in my archives my pump, Blue.

This is when I just him as he replaced Murph, who died. Oh well. So I lied, there may be a fourth picture. See what happens when i get distracted.
Either way, vacation tomorrow, I am excited, me, myself, and I in San Francisco all by myself, playing tourist!!! Woo!

As I began today’s journey of bitching and moaning I realized that while it may be easy to come up with a list of things that I hate about have type-1 diabetes. I really don’t think I do. Maybe on that periodic bit of self-loathing I may be able to come up with a list of like 30 things. However, when I look at life 14 years ago, when I was first diagnosed and now. I mean, seriously things are so much better. I mean, back during that period, Insulin pumps were not all that common, CGM’s did not exist, my meter took forever and so much blood, there was only one type of glucose tab out there. I mean come on, things aren’t great, but they sure as hell are better than they used to be.
So in no particular order, here is my 10 Things I do Hate about my “friend”.

10.) I do hate the fact that you came over unannounced and will not leave me. You make things suck sometimes and you have so overstayed your welcome. I may miss you when you are gone, but probably not, that is if you ever leave.

9.) I love in your world how the number 5 years means nothing to you. “Oh Brian, things are not good now, but with the rapid progression of studies, funding, and crap like that you will see a cure for this disease in maybe like 5 years.” Really, cause we are going on 15 at this point. I mean I know according to American Pie there is the came of 3. If you ask a guy how many people they have slept with you divide the number by 3 and a girl you multiply. But I thought you were better than that. Jerk.

8.) I hate when you make me an uncoordinated buffoon, because you drop my sugar and I have no clue, since Beepy, McBeeperson, has yet to catch up with me. Did I really need to throw that tray of food all over the place or spill the precious life giving OJ everywhere but down my throat. Double jerk.

7.) I hate the looks people give me sometimes. I mean not the what is that thing on your belt insulin pump look. That is fine. The I am grumpy and having a bad day and someone says “Are you okay? How’s your sugar?” You know what my sugar is f-ing fine. I am just grumpy okay. Don’t ask such a stupid question. Sometimes, I get angry just for the sake of being angry. It isn’t normally d-related. And when you keep asking me, either if I am low or not. It pisses me off. So I hate you for this.

6.) I hate the entire love/hate relationship with food. I love food. I hate having to do my best to figure out the carbs, the fats, the ice cream, the pop corn, and everything else that messes with my sugar. I would like to eat pizza and go to bed and not have to worry about the fact that I did my combo bolus wrong and am still at 200 hundred in the morning. It annoys me.

5.) I hate the nausea feeling you give me when I am sometimes High and trying to figure out if I am sick or just high, because you just like to mess with my mind. You are mean. I would never do that to you. I swear sometimes you are even more passive aggressive than I am.

4.) I hate the sweats that sometimes sneak up on me, when I go low. I mean it isn’t often, but it is embarassing when I miss the low and my Dexcom has yet catch it or is still at like 70 so there is no fear for me yet. And I realize I have soaked my clothes from sweat. It’s like really??

3.) Continuing with the sweats, I hate the night time low when I wake up sometimes, since I apparently sleep right through my night time beeps, since I am so tired sometimes that I can sleep through anything, and hell when I go low. I hear nothing. I hate waking from the low( I mean I am glad I wake from the low) but I hate waking from the low covered in sweat, my sheets soaked, like I wet the bed and even though my emergency glucose tabs are right there I cannot grab them. I mean I try, but the sugar you stole from elsewhere has yet to give me the fine motor control needed to close or control my arm and I lie there swinging my arm, hoping to get things. Finally, when I get things in my hand and I promptly can’t find my mouth. see number 8.

2.) I am not a fan of the thirst either, sometimes it is unquenchable. I mean, I am not High, I am not low. But sometimes I am just plain thirsty. I blame you for this. I mean I could be wrong on this blame game. But I still blame you, especially when after the thirst comes the other side. The relief. Really, I need sleep. I don’t need to get up 5 times to pee and stumble out of bed barley awake, dragging Blue around since he came unclipped from my shorts. Worse, like 3 weeks ago when I went to the bathroom and Blue’s tubing got tangled on the door and pulled the door closed and I was confused and trapped, since the tubing was stuck on the door knob inside the bathroom. Yeah, that was cool.

1.) I like to run, running with you is not fun. I need to drink OJ before hand and try to peak high before I run. I run and run. But now I need to stop and make sure I am safe to run. I hate that it used to be me and my cd player, me and my iPod, me and my tape player. But now it is me, my iPod, my pump, my CGM, my emergency money, and the fact I need to plan a route around stores so I can bail myself out of trouble when you sneak up on me. I mean you are a horrible running partner. Can’t you just stay home. Don’t get me started on my post run issues. You are a mean.

Diabetes you are not a nice “friend”. I live with you . I deal with you. I am fine with you. But you annoy the snot at me. If I was a monkey I would fling pooh at you.